You’d think that writing miscellaneous discussions would be easy but it’s not. As an aspiring writer I’m amazed that when I confront myself with such things as aimless, miscellaneous writings my head suddenly goes empty. It’s not even writer’s block, my brain just suddenly shrinks down to a pulp.

This is the first miscellaneous post on my website so I will take it easy. I liked programming this website, I used Astro which is an awesome tool for building statically generated sites. I fear that I may be enjoying programming and development more than writing content. I do have a lot of thirst for creative writing but I always feel like I’m falling short. The standards and ideals that I set for writing seem so unachievable and inaccessible to me. I’ll keep writing and reading to improve; however I don’t think I have much time. Time… Time is a major constraint here yes. I am sure a lot of people relate to this. You might be truly passionate about one thing but as you keep progressing through life you just find yourself buried beneath a pile of endless worries and responsibilities, some of which you might not even be able to manage.

Speaking of unmanageable worries, some of these worries stem from problems that might not even be open to solution. This line of thinking is generally considered to be symptomatic of depression, or depressive tendencies, but it could be realistic in some cases. I am not trying to say that that is always the case, I am trying to hint that my own life has a lot of these “seemingly” (and most definitely) unsolvable problems.

But enough about that, I am not obligated to feed the depressed half of me the sort of things that it would like to hear.

On the occasion that you find yourself wondering whether you’ll be able to make it through or not, remind yourself that any path you choose requires strength. People usually go on about “you should not choose something easy.” I understand what they mean but it’s a very limited way of talking about things. You could choose to procrastinate on work for example but that would leave you with the future stress of having to meet a deadline or a quota for example. That is most certainly not “something easy” to choose to do, at least not in the long run. It’s a choice that requires strength from your future self. Most procrastinators though do not care about their future selves, which is why the choice is initially easy, despite it being an objectively difficult one in the grand scheme of things. Say you chose an easy major for college, you might end up having to put up with awful work conditions later on in your life. Your lack of research on your major and on the job market makes the decision look easy despite it being a difficult one to make with the odds stacked against you exposed. Thus, it’s important for you to realize that you don’t even have the luxury of choosing to do an easy thing (except if you’re some billionaire!) This could help you decide better things next time, depending on how many next times we have in our next time vaults anyways. On the occasion that you choose an easy major and still find your life to be easy afterwards, then you’ve successfully hacked the matrix.

A word of advice in the postscript: As ZUN once said in the PoFV omake, starting something without purpose could potentially hurt you and others who are going to consume your work. Especially if you flip-flop on its purpose and decide on why you’re doing what you’re doing halfway through doing it. Now I feel like this advice might only make sense when it comes to artistic stuff like writing for example. But I’m sure it probably applies elsewhere. Art could become hurtful in the sense that the author’s lack of direction could distort the purpose and goal of a project. This, in general, is not a pleasant experience for neither the author nor the audience. It leaves you with a sense of dread, like you’re falling all the way through a bottomless pit of nihilism and despair for meaning, trying to grasp at stray branches of purpose as you fall through the pit you dug yourself into. Sometimes though, we realize that we’ve been falling down the pit right from the moment we were born.